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A new guy started training today and he can get it in a major way, so I was talking to one of my friends there about him, leading to the gayest thing I’ve said in my life: “I wonder if he’s gay. That socks and shoes combination says ‘no.’”

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It should also be noted that I mistakenly thought that Downton Abbey would be a ~sophisticated show~ that would be the prime rib to the Doritos that is American Horror Story.

Now that I’m in the second season of that one I can say NOPE it’s just as ridiculous, just in different ways.

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I started watching American Horror Story: Coven after banging out the first two seasons really quickly and I actually said aloud “God I don’t care about this, stop.” before turning it off halfway through the first episode.

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So a lot of guys work in my office and all but one are gay. So they hired this new guy who’s like aggressively straight, like walks in wearing football jerseys and talking about the game.

He came in today and started talking to the one other straight guy about sports and the other one was so excited to finally talk to someone about straight guy stuff, it was adorable.

Meanwhile we were all having a gay conversation about whether or not American Beauty deserved its Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.